With Steve and I’s wedding anniversary coming up, I’m opening up a little to share with you a few of my best tips for marriage after baby. We’ve always set clear expectations for our relationship. We strive to be honest, communicate, trust one another, the basic relationship-type stuff. But, one of the hardest parts of our marriage was having a new baby come into the picture. It’s hard to make time for your spouse when you are lost in the hazy newborn stage, I have to admit it lasted a long time for me. You’re physically drained, you’re emotionally drained, and you may even be frustrated with your current situation. It might not be your main focus right now, but you should make time for each other. Whether that means stealing 5 minutes here and there to just talk and focus on each other, or hiring a sitter so you can enjoy a romantic dinner, it’s up to you.
When babies are young it’s easy to get away. They fly for free and are often easy to tote around. Most babies will also sleep in the car. You can pop in to museums during nap time and stroll around town during awake time. You will have to accept that travel with children is different than traveling with only adults. Learn to go with the flow more and don’t overbook yourselves. Plus, if you expose your children to travel at a young age, they will learn to travel well when they’re older. Søren was only 14 months old for our trip to Denmark, and now at 3 years old has gone on multiple flights, car rides, and extended trips with us with no problems at all.
Date Night In
If you don’t feel up to leaving the house with your little one, I don’t blame you. For the longest time Søren would not sleep unless he was on top of me, so much so that I started using the hashtag #CoyoteBaby to describe the experience. This will take some planning, but you can plan a romantic date together for after bed time. Order dinner or dessert in, or cook something together. Then snuggle in to play games, watch a movie, or enjoy each other’s company. Movies after the little ones are asleep have become our go-to activity. Mainly because they don’t require a lot of effort and we still get to enjoy each other’s company.
Hire a Sitter
We don’t have family nearby to help out with the kids, so when I was contacted by Urban Sitter (get a free month below!), I was excited. Urban Sitter is an online directory of babysitters and nannies for anything from full-time to occasional work. It was very easy to sign up, and is also mobile friendly. It utilizes your social circle and groups to find sitters you have in common with people you already know within your social circle, your child’s school, and groups. Via their website or app, you can read reviews, watch video profiles, schedule online, and even pay by credit card.
When I searched for my sitter, I specifically looked for one with experience in both of my child’s ages, and one that had experience with special needs children (there are tons of filters to help narrow your search). While Aiden isn’t high maintenance, he does have some quirks that I feel could be easily misunderstood by someone unfamiliar. We hired a sitter for our date night who fit the bill and seemed genuinely nice from her video profile. I set up dinner for them and let them have a movie night while we were gone. Both of my littles absolutely loved her, so Steve and I took the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with Aiden the next day as well. She fed Søren lunch and played with him outside most of the time we were gone. He even asked to go with her when her time was up.
- UrbanSitter is the most convenient way to find babysitters and nannies for occasional needs, last-minute help, backup care and part- or full-time needs.
- Get recommendations from parents you know. UrbanSitter taps in to your friends and parenting social circles to help you find sitters personally hired and reviewed by parents from your child’s school, afterschool activities, and your network of friends on Facebook and LinkedIn.
- Easy online scheduling. UrbanSitters keep their schedules online, so parents can book a job or interview with just a click.
- At the end of the night, skip the ATM and pay your sitter conveniently by credit card with a tap.
- It’s a timesaver and lifesaver for busy parents!
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.